Those were great gifts from your wife and daughter.
And that Louise Erdrich quote!! With thanks to Maria Popova for continuing to bring us such gems!
Two more to share:
"When society tells you that your extremity is to be feared, plug your damn ears and dare to bleed. The greatest tragedy of this world is that we have been convinced showing feelings is a sign of weakness; we live in a society that is starving for human compassion, yet looks back clueless at our cause of death.
"Do not apologize for your bolstering heart, we need a little more of that. Lie down on your back and stare at the stars or blurring city lights and make friends with the kind of pain that reminds you that you are alive, in the best way. ...
"... do not make a home in the idea that the world will spin the same way with or without you, or that lives of the people around you would continue unscathed."
"It is sensible enough to try to live longer lives. But we are working with a false notion of what long really means. We might live to be a thousand years old and still complain that it had all rushed by too fast. We should be aiming to lead lives that feel long because we manage to imbue them with the right sort of open-hearted appreciation and unsnobbish receptivity, the kind that five-year-olds know naturally how to bring to bear. We need to pause and look at one another’s faces, study the sky, wonder at the eddies and colors of the river, and dare to ask the kinds of questions that open others’ souls. We don’t need to add years; we need to densify the time we have left by ensuring that every day is lived consciously—and we can do this via a maneuver as simple as it is momentous: by starting to notice all that we have as yet only seen."
“The greatest tragedy of this world is that we have been convinced showing feelings is a sign of weakness; we live in a society that is starving for human compassion, yet looks back clueless at our cause of death.”
That was wonderful. Thank you for introducing me to Lauren Hurst. Here’s the link again for anyone else who might be tempted.
It’s interesting how she talks about the need to show your feelings. I find it so hard. When I am writing about them, I have to pretend I am writing in secret otherwise it all just gets too much.
More Lauren:
“To feel joy, you need to make the ordinary extraordinary. So if you are going to love, love with every fiber of your being.
If you are going to cry, drown cities with your pain.
If you are going to laugh, do it with a roar, let it tear down empires and crumble cliff sides.
If you are going to move on, let completely go, because anything else is doing yourself a massive disservice.
Funny coincidence: I bought my Pessimist’s Umbrella in De Botton’s School of Life shop in London! I’m a big fan of Alain de Botton. Reading your links now…
Yes, I do need to explore my unsettledness. That’s where adventures come from!
"I bought my Pessimist’s Umbrella in De Botton’s School of Life shop in London!"
Wow! Cool synchronicity! :)
And yes, that's truly where adventures come from. Yet more quotes, since I seem to be full of those these days ...
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
- M. Scott Peck
Nick Cave:
"I am sorry to hear about your father’s stroke, and that you are going through a challenging time, but I have found that embedded within these challenges there is almost always the opportunity for renewal or transformation. That is the plain but uncomfortable truth. I say this with a much-conflicted heart, but it seems clear to me that the heartbreaks that routinely befall us—personally, societally or universally—are, in fact, the necessary gifts of change. These painful upheavals always provide us with the option for self-destruction or for transcendence. Heartbreak can be the engine of obliteration or growth. The choice is ours.
"... although this can feel overwhelming and an almost impossible—perhaps even thankless—task, it will be a defining experience for you. True growth comes when we accept the mantle of that which we feel is beyond us."
"I know that the most significant and meaningful periods of my life have all been moments that I could have never rationally chosen or even known as possibilities had I not been foolish or lucky enough to step into the nothingness that Alfredo Bonanno writes about. I try to remind myself that if leaving prison is scary, the same is likely true for any genuine process of discovery."
We are all on the same one way conveyor belt, Ragged. I'm so sorry to hear that you're 'on notice'. I hope you confound the doctors.
Me too, Bettina!
LOVE your thoughts here.
Those were great gifts from your wife and daughter.
And that Louise Erdrich quote!! With thanks to Maria Popova for continuing to bring us such gems!
Two more to share:
"When society tells you that your extremity is to be feared, plug your damn ears and dare to bleed. The greatest tragedy of this world is that we have been convinced showing feelings is a sign of weakness; we live in a society that is starving for human compassion, yet looks back clueless at our cause of death.
"Do not apologize for your bolstering heart, we need a little more of that. Lie down on your back and stare at the stars or blurring city lights and make friends with the kind of pain that reminds you that you are alive, in the best way. ...
"... do not make a home in the idea that the world will spin the same way with or without you, or that lives of the people around you would continue unscathed."
- Lauren Hurst, on Elephant Journal, https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/10/for-when-you-feel-like-giving-up/
"It is sensible enough to try to live longer lives. But we are working with a false notion of what long really means. We might live to be a thousand years old and still complain that it had all rushed by too fast. We should be aiming to lead lives that feel long because we manage to imbue them with the right sort of open-hearted appreciation and unsnobbish receptivity, the kind that five-year-olds know naturally how to bring to bear. We need to pause and look at one another’s faces, study the sky, wonder at the eddies and colors of the river, and dare to ask the kinds of questions that open others’ souls. We don’t need to add years; we need to densify the time we have left by ensuring that every day is lived consciously—and we can do this via a maneuver as simple as it is momentous: by starting to notice all that we have as yet only seen."
An excerpt of Alain de Botton's "A Therapeutic Journey: Lessons from the School of Life," via Sari Botton, https://oldster.substack.com/p/how-to-lengthen-your-life
P.S. Hoping you do live much longer – and do need to explore that unsettledness!
“The greatest tragedy of this world is that we have been convinced showing feelings is a sign of weakness; we live in a society that is starving for human compassion, yet looks back clueless at our cause of death.”
That was wonderful. Thank you for introducing me to Lauren Hurst. Here’s the link again for anyone else who might be tempted.
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/10/for-when-you-feel-like-giving-up/
It’s interesting how she talks about the need to show your feelings. I find it so hard. When I am writing about them, I have to pretend I am writing in secret otherwise it all just gets too much.
More Lauren:
“To feel joy, you need to make the ordinary extraordinary. So if you are going to love, love with every fiber of your being.
If you are going to cry, drown cities with your pain.
If you are going to laugh, do it with a roar, let it tear down empires and crumble cliff sides.
If you are going to move on, let completely go, because anything else is doing yourself a massive disservice.
Let yourself feel, and then let yourself heal.”
Thank you for the great quotes, Aron!
Funny coincidence: I bought my Pessimist’s Umbrella in De Botton’s School of Life shop in London! I’m a big fan of Alain de Botton. Reading your links now…
Yes, I do need to explore my unsettledness. That’s where adventures come from!
"I bought my Pessimist’s Umbrella in De Botton’s School of Life shop in London!"
Wow! Cool synchronicity! :)
And yes, that's truly where adventures come from. Yet more quotes, since I seem to be full of those these days ...
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
- M. Scott Peck
Nick Cave:
"I am sorry to hear about your father’s stroke, and that you are going through a challenging time, but I have found that embedded within these challenges there is almost always the opportunity for renewal or transformation. That is the plain but uncomfortable truth. I say this with a much-conflicted heart, but it seems clear to me that the heartbreaks that routinely befall us—personally, societally or universally—are, in fact, the necessary gifts of change. These painful upheavals always provide us with the option for self-destruction or for transcendence. Heartbreak can be the engine of obliteration or growth. The choice is ours.
"... although this can feel overwhelming and an almost impossible—perhaps even thankless—task, it will be a defining experience for you. True growth comes when we accept the mantle of that which we feel is beyond us."
https://ryandueck.com/2023/07/18/heartbreak-can-be-the-engine-of-obliteration-or-growth/#more-32952
"I know that the most significant and meaningful periods of my life have all been moments that I could have never rationally chosen or even known as possibilities had I not been foolish or lucky enough to step into the nothingness that Alfredo Bonanno writes about. I try to remind myself that if leaving prison is scary, the same is likely true for any genuine process of discovery."
https://moxie.org/2013/01/07/career-advice.html